The Life of Heather James

The Songs of my Life

2009-10-27T12:44:00.000-07:00

Pic of the Day: Mom, Michelle and I at a baseball game.

We all do it. When we are in a certain mood we listen to certain songs/artists. Some people listen to sad songs when they are upset to calm them down, others listen to happy songs so that they can forget about whatever they were upset about. Personally, I'm the kind of girl that listens to the same music as my mood.
A few of my happy songs:
"The Best Day Ever" Spongebob Squarepants
"Lady Marmalade" Pink, Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim and Mya
"I can walk on water, I can fly" BassHunter
"Tuts My Barreh" Random Korean Boy
"I'll Woop Your Head Boy" 50 Cent

A few of my SEXY songs!:
"When I Grow Up" Pussycat Dolls
"Cherry Pie" Warrent
"Can't Fight The Moonlight" Leanne Rimes
"Gunpowder and Lead" Miranda Lambert
"Boom Boom Pow" Black Eyed Peas

My Thoughtful/Sad songs
"Whiskey Lullaby" Braid Paisley
"All I Think About Is You" Three Doors Down
"Comfortable" John Mayer
"You and I Both" Jason Mraz
"Face Down Acoustic" Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
"Requiem For a Dream" Clint Mansell
"Hello" Evanesence
"Tears Don't Fall" Bullet For My Valentine
"Zzyzx Road" Stone Sour
"Lie To Me Acoustic" 12 Stones

Some of the best songs in the world, if my life had a soundtrack, all these songs would be on there. I'm totally gonna make a cd with all these songs on here so I don't have to be looking them up on YouTube all the time haha.

Warning: If you don't like depressing rants, do not read!

2009-10-23T19:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, so this is my little rant. I hate falling in love. Yes, it’s the most amazing thing ever if you find the right one. But here is the thing, if it’s not the right one and you fall in love, you’re screwed. Because when you find a person you think you can trust, you let you’re guard down, and you let yourself feel things that you have never felt before. You even sit around and think about things like how many kids you want, and what kind of dress you want to wear on your wedding day. Then one day, when you think the world couldn’t get any better, it all falls apart. For example, I gave up my entire life for love. I moved to a town where I didn’t know anybody, I gave up a job in Logan so that I could live with my amazing boyfriend, and while I couldn’t find a job, I sat at home and cleaned the house all day only leaving the house maybe once a week if I was lucky. But I didn’t care about these things, because I was in love, and I knew that nothing could ever tear us apart. But one day, I finally got a job, things were starting to fall into place, I was truly happy. Then one day I came home not to be greeted by a happy boyfriend, but to be dumped in the middle of the night. So you can imagine the wonderful phone call to my mom at 1 in the morning asking her to drive to Ogden and come move me back to Logan.
But that’s not even the worse part. The worse part is going to bed every night knowing that he’s not by my side. Knowing that the way that things are going, I will never be able to hold him in my arms ever again. Throwing up at just the thought of him being with someone else besides me. Wondering if he thinks of me nearly as much as I think of him. But the worse part is, even though he’s dumped me and hardly talked to me because he’s too busy, I can’t be mad at him. Even if I tried I don’t think I could. I still believe that he is the person I’m supposed to be with the rest of my life. But does he still think that? Does he even still love me? Did he ever?
I can’t go to sleep at night without thinking of him. The littlest things remind me of him and I can’t help but think of him and start crying. But he doesn’t know how I feel. Nothing close to it. I hate fighting with him about the dumbest little things. We never fought until we split apart and now it feels like we are drifting farther and farther apart. I hate the fact that I’m probably the one that causes the fights and I hate being that person. That’s not like me. I’m not one of those little drama queens that make fights and things like that to get attention. I’m18, I’m an adult, and I wish that I could solve things without having to cause drama. I don’t mean to, and it’s the last thing that I want to do.
No matter what happens Cassidy, I will never stop loving you. Right now it seems like I will never love again if you and I don’t work out, which I pray that it will. No man has ever made me near as happy as you have. I have never been able to act like myself all the time with anyone before. I will never forget all the good times that we had, and you will always have a special place in my heart, no matter what happens. Every time I think of the funny things we did, it always brings a smile to my face. You taught me how to live, how to smile, how to be myself, and most important, how to love. I will never forget you as long as I live and I will always be your friend, whether we are a couple or not.

Swine Flu/ Moving

2009-10-21T23:27:00.000-07:00

Hello People!

This is my first blog and I have to say... It's all Michelle's fault! She got me interested! Oh well. So yesterday I got really sick so I went to the doctor today. Turns out I have swine flu, it pretty much sucks. It seems like everyone is getting swine flu lately. Scary and not fun at all. But luckily the doctor gave me some medicine that has already started helping a lot.
So I just moved back to Logan less than a week ago. Before I was living in Ogden with my boyfriend Cassidy. I finally got a job and was starting to get things going when he decided that it would be a good idea to take a break so he could get some things figured out with his life. It was a smart idea on his part but it really screwed me up. Now I'm back to where I started. Jobless, no money and no school. Ugh. Well I guess everything happens for a reason, I will never regret any of my decisions because they have helped me learn how to make things right.
Well I guess that's all I have to say for my first blog, just a little update on my life.